real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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