There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
