It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize