We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
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I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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