I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
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