I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize