Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smell my finger.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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