Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
