i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
She announced her abortion via fbk
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
