Having a random hookup so left but love u
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
