I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
