It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
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yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
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Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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