You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
