Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
