I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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