Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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