i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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