so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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