I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
