Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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