Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
