He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
