My hand turned me down
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
