i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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