Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
