My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
