i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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