I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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