every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
