Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize