I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
