does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
