road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
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He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
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The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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