If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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