That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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