i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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