Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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