You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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