READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
