i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
