Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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