ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
