It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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