just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Go christen that room with your naked body.
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