You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i need some magic done to my vagina
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
