That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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