I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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