I got chris browned last night
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Fuck appropriateness.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
