apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
