i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
