But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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