That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
