im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
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