my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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